Decided on vascular surgery. I know, I waffled between neuro and then nephrology and then med/peds for awhile, but after doing my surgery rotation, I know that I can’t live without seeing the OR everyday. (Which makes my current neuro rotation OHSOPAINFUL, but that’s another story…). Went on the interview trail and met a whole bunch of amazing, awesome people.

And on the day of love (Yesterday was Valentine’s, for those of you who live in a cave), I found out why I love my fellow vascular applicant SK so much:

Me: *Rambling about how this guy I had been on a few dates with who didn’t bother calling me on Valentine’s Day*

SK:i’m telling you

Isn’t she fabulous? She spits the truth, let me tell ya! This reminds me of this quote I saw once:

“Friends will comfort you when a guy rejects you, but a best friend will go up to him and say “its because you are gay isn’t it?”

She is totally that friend! It totally made my day so much better!! =)

Did you guys read that? I said..

2PM!!

It was the perfect opportunity. They had scheduled a Houston date for 6/9, and it had 2PM opening. Me being the crazy fan that I am, I knew I had to go. Despite my mixed feelings about the whole Jay controversy and the horrible but sadly believable rumors about them, I couldn’t pass up the chance to see them in person.

They had 2 different kinds of tickets-$35 for general admissions and $150 for VIP. I was so sad that I was way broke and couldn’t bear spending $100+ on tickets, even though it included a meet-and-greet and autographs/pictures. NEXT year though, you bet your ass that I will be there…and all over my 2PM boys!

Me with my ticket!

In the venue…it was so packed!

Me and AH before the concert

So being on surgery and all, I knew that I couldn’t be there super early and get an awesome seat. I left St. Joe’s at around 4:30 and then went home and got read. AH and I got to the venue at around 6, and there was already a huge line. I had some last minute kinks with getting my ticket (now I know to not wait until the last minute to buy a ticket…) but ended up getting it no problem. We waited outside for around an hour, with random cheers erupting from the crowd. Finally around 6:45, they started letting VIP’s in. Then at 7:10 they started letting the general admissions people in. Once in, AH and I managed to get some pretty decent seats on the right side of the stage pretty close to the front. But omg, the pushing/shoving was SO annoying! I’m glad that I decided to wear high heels, because I’m pretty sure I was taller than 80% of the people there with my heels on, which = better visibility, har har har. Everytime the curtains came up, people would scream, so there were a ton of false alarms. Finally at 8:05 we see hadowy black figures walking out…and the music starts. Thank goodness I had already whipped my camera out and was filming, otherwise I would’ve totally missed it! I was kinda expecting there to be some sort of introduction from JYP, like in the NYC concerts, but it didn’t happen. Anyway, once the lights turn on, I just went like 0______0!! because they were UNBELIEVABLY HOT! Especially TAEC! I was like OMFG I couldn’t breathe, the man was PERFECTION! Tall, muscular, and just flawless…100x better looking in person! I wanted to have his babies right then and there. They performed ‘Without U’ then transitioned to ‘I Hate You’ before introducing themselves (the boys who couldn’t speak English were so cute and shy..I half expected Junho to introduce himself as 2PM again ). They then went on to perform ‘Heartbeat’.

Yea my video is a bit nausea-inducing because I couldn’t find a good angle at first and plus I was really excited and jumping around a lot…but it gets better I promise!

Then they did Again & Again

They talked a little bit more..

Finally they end with 10 out of 10..and my camera was running out of memory! I was retarded and didn’t free up as much memory as I needed to…so I only got about half the performance. It’s ok though, I got the parts where Taec rubs the bubble-butt…:) This perf was cute because during Khun’s ‘Lalala’ part, he did the NU-ABO dace, giving props to his ‘We Got Married’ wife. You should’ve heard the screams from the girls when he did that! Unfortunately, that was after my camera pooped out on me.

All in all, I thought their performance was outstanding. Vocals were pretty spot on even though Junsu was missing. I was a bit upset that the members covered Jay’s parts instead of leaving his vocals in. The dancing and charisma were out of this world. I think Taec did make eye contact with me at some point because he would come up to the front of the stage a lot to tease the fans, and because I was taller than most of the other girls in my heels, I think he spotted me. Or perhaps it’s just my wishful thinking. After seeing pics from the other concerts, I’m a bit disappointed that they didn’t wear cutoff shirts to show of their amazing arms, but hey I could still appreciate their rippling muscles underneath their shirts. Plus, we had the added bonus of none of them wearing hats, so we could all see their sexy hairstyles…Taec’s was the best of course. And TAEC BABY DIDN’T RIP OFF HIS SHIRT! ARGH! Well at least it seems that he hasn’t ripped it off during any of the concerts so far, so it’s not just Houston…haha.

Here is my one clear picture of them:

Their pants were glowing haha! Poor Taec baby looks constipated…oh wells. He recently got hooked onto Twitter and uploaded a picture and judging from the hair and clothes, it looks like it was taken before they got on stage for the Houston conert..

So after that excitement…finally WG came on. Their silhouettes first came on, and then after much anticipation, the curtain dropped and there the girls were in all their glory. They started off with singing ‘I wanna love you’, then a song that I didn’t know. Then came introductions and their rendition of PCD ‘Dontcha’ and their own ‘So Hot’.

Can I just say that Yoobin is uber-hot? I was quite mesmerized.

Then they did the Rainstone remix of ‘Nobody’. After that came solo’s…Hae Lim did Lil Mama’s ‘Lip Gloss’, Yoobin danced to ‘Boom Boom Pow’, Sohee did ‘Single Ladies’, Yenny sang ‘Mercy’, and Sun covered Lady Gaga’s ‘Paparazzi’. Those solos were kinda eh to me. I know they do them all the time in Korea, but I would much rather hear the WG sing their own sings than cover American artists in their still (for the most part) heavily accented English. Then as a group they sang Destiny’s Child’s ‘Survivor’.

After that they changed clothes again and sang their new song ’2 Different Tears’ and then taught us the ‘Tell Me’ dance…as if there was room to dance in there!

After ‘Tell Me’ ended they pretended like that was the end of the concert and went backstage. The crowd started screaming, “Encore, encore!” After a few minutes the screen in the background flashed “Do you want more wonder girls?’ and asked us to scream. It kept on asking us to scream louder like 10 more times, I was so tired at the end! Finally the girls popped back onstage in their glittery ‘Nobody’ dresses and performed the last song of the night.

After that the girls bowed, smiled, and waved their good-byes to the crowd. I was half-hoping that 2PM would come out with them at the curtain call and do another bow so I could try to get another picture of them, but alas it was not to be.

All in all, it was an awesome concert experience, but I feel like the 2PM boys did better. Yoobin and Sun had the most charisma, and Yenny has an amazing voice. I’ve always found Sohee to be overrated, and I’m still neutral on Hae Lim. Sun and Yoobin were SO skinny though. I knew Yoobin had lost a lot of weight after ppl kept on calling her fat, but I never thought that Sun would be so tiny! Her waist was like a stick, lol. I can’t wait for them to come back next year…when I definitely will buy a VIP ticket!!

P.S. My Wonder Girls videos are posted on my Youtube channel..http://www.youtube.com/user/tayazsweetluv. I’m too lazy to post them all one by one on here, haha. Hope you guys enjoyed reading summary of my fangirl-ness

As of now, we know that Jay is still staying active in b-boying (multiple videos of him at b-boy competitions in Seattle have surface on the net) and is working multiple jobs to pass the time and make some money. There have been so many rumors in the past 4 months, but recently in the past few days it seems the rumor mill went into overdrive, which is why I decided to finally write a post and put out my opinion.

2PM has just finished up their activities for the first full-length album titled 1:59, and they are scheduled for a comeback in April (coincidentally Jay’s birthday month), and many fans are hoping that he’ll make a comeback with this new album. In the past few days, there have been articles stating that JYP will have a press conference regarding Jaebeom on Jan. 24th; that Jay has been offered a part in Hype Nation, a Hollywood movie about hip-hop dancing that was also trying to recruit BoA and Son DamBi earlier; that Jay will be making his comeback by appearing on MBC’s ‘Come to Play’; and that Jay has been secretly filming a music video in the U.S. All of these rumors have been squashed one by one by JYPE.

There have been numerous accounts from “insiders” on a 2PM forum that I frequent…and a lot of them make Jay’s chance of coming back sound pretty dire. Although many fans and entertainment professionals believe that now is the perfect time for Jay to come back, my problem is with JYPE. I think JYP needs to go attend some public relations classes because he has seriously messed this up from the beginning. There are only a handful of fans who will believe what comes out of his mouth now. At the very beginning when the news broke about Jay’s comments, he announced that there was “no way he would let Jay go.” Did he keep that promise? Obviously not. In fact, there are multiple accounts that state the company pressured Jay to leave. But JYP laid all the blame on Jay, saying that “he knew he was this kind of kid from the beginning” and claiming that he couldn’t make Jay come back. Bullshit, JYP! He’s a kid with an 8 year slave contract-he has NO power or say to just up and leave, plus he would have to repay a huge sum of money for breaking the contract. When 2PM started promotions for ‘Heartbeat’, he stated that the boys wouldn’t be participating in any variety shows out of respect for Jay. Now, Taec has been confirmed as a cast member for Family Outing Season 2. An insider report says that this had been confirmed since Dec. 31st, but when news of it first broke out, JYPE said they were still “considering it” but hadn’t finalized it. What’s even more scary is the fact that there was a rumor that in the beginning of this year there would be a member who would become a regular on a variety show; the rumor also stated that JYP had no intention of bringing Jay back, that he is trying to keep his image clean but doesn’t plan on bringing him back. JYP sure is crafty…telling fans on ‘Golden Fishery’ that he would welcome Jay back when he’s ready. But notice that this was timed right before 1:59 dropped. This was to assuage the fans that he was doing the right thing, so that they would buy the album. And by golly they did…the Hottest are now split between those who support the boycott and those against it. Those against the boycott sometimes bought 2-3 copies of the album in place of the boycotters. Fans have also noticed that every time a video of Jay b-boying pops up on the internet, another ridiculous 2PM article (i.e. the Kim Bo Peep incident, or the Okvatar) shows up the day after and crowds out the attention the Jay article gets. In the end, JYP is a business. He may paint a rosy picture of himself and the artist as family, but he’s definitely has money as his first priority. Why would he need to bring Jay back if 2PM is doing fine without him? And so the strife between the Hottest who support the boycott and those don’t continues…

Most recently, some “insider” information (who knew that the Wonder Girls’ Sunmi would be leaving before she announced her resignation) states that just 2 weeks ago, there were plans to bring back Jay…and now they’re gone. Wooyoung has recently shut down his Cyworld, and fans are speculating that it may be in defiance against JYP’s decisions. There are talks of Jay returning as a solo artist, and that he will be returning around the Lunar New Year. My opinion is: continue the boycott. Jay isn’t even my favorite member, but I support the boys as 7. Any fan would be able to tell you that his presence is very much missed among the boys…especially Wooyoung. Whereas before he had a childish silliness, these days his eyes look dull, his chubby cheeks are gone, and he’s lost a tremendous amount of weight. I admire the Korean Hottest-they’ve been tireless in their efforts, and continue to send gifts to Jay and protest at the JYP building. They’ve also donated to multiple charities, and most recently donated $10,000 to the Haitian relief effort.

I support a 7 membered 2PM. It’s up to us to make them whole again.

Also, Ellen Degeneres is looking for international musical acts to feature on her show. Show support for 2PM by leaving a message on her blog here. It might be the only way the our boys will get to see their leader again. Plus…it’s kinda funny reading the comments haha. The TVXQ fans are having a field day with this! 0_0

Most medical students (mostly in 2nd year, when they usually go through the different organ systems and pathologies) go through a phase that I like to term “the med school syndrome”. It all starts off innocently enough. Students start off each block excited about learning the new material. Let’s take for example…NHB or Neuroscience and Human Behavior. Halfway through that block, I swore I could diagnose half the people in my class with some of the disorders that we were studying (“There’s a narcissistic personality..that person’s ADD…there’s a definite schizoid personality). When studying the cardiovascular system I started to worry about my blood pressure; in GI, I was sure that I had identified the parasite that made me sick in Nicaragua; in Endocrine, I almost went to go see a doctor to confirm that I had hypothyroidism, etc.

And then the inevitable happened. I really came down with something that I had learned about and scoffed at, thinking that it was just one of those “board things” that you had to memorize for a test but would never see in real life.

At first I just thought it was bug bites on my arms. “That’s strange.” I thought, “It’s almost winter, most of the bugs should be dead by now.” But whatever, I just shrugged it off, assuming it would go away on its own. The next day two more popped up. To my horror, over the next day it spread over both of my forearms and moved down to my legs. When I shined the light just right over my arm, I could see the shadows of all the small bumps on my arms. ‘Ok, that’s it.’ I decided. ‘I’m going to see a dermatologist’. So I made an appointment the next week to see a dermatologist. She was young and pretty, like most dermatologists are known to be. I showed her all the areas that my rash was. She asked questions like ‘Does it itch?’, ‘Have you tried anything for it?’ etc. Then I told her that I was a medical student and that I had a suspicion of what it was. She smiled and confirmed my suspicion.

Pityriasis rosea.

A maculopapular rash that we learned can look similar to the rash of secondary syphilis (and I know for SURE I ain’t got that). Ways to tell the difference? PR usually starts with one lone papule usually on the chest, called “the herald’s patch” because it “brings news of things to come” (hardy har har). Also, PR usually is on the proximal parts of your body, meaning the chest and trunk. It classically spreads in a “Christmas tree” distribution on the body. It usually doesn’t spread distally to the hands and feet, whereas syphilis almost always does.

I didn’t take pictures of my rash because I was grossed out. Yes, by my own skin-it’s why I could never be a dermatologist (among other reasons). But this is similar to what my forearm looked like:

And this is what classic PR looks like, herald’s patch and all (the herald’s patch can often be confused with ringworm):

But this is more similar to mine-errr, minus the hair:

The cause of PR is unknown, but many attribute it to the Human Herpes Virus 8 (NOT the same virus that causes genital herpes or cold sores), which may cause an upper respiratory illness preceding the rash. I remembered that I was sick a few weeks before the rash started, and had some sniffles in the beginning days of the rash. While the rash itself is not contagious, the virus certainly is. It is more common in children and young adolescents than older people. It is usually accompanied by itching-mine didn’t itching until a week after. The good news is that it is a self-limiting disease, and usually resolves within 2-8 weeks. The dermatologist wrote me a prescription for some steroid cream to control the itching, but I didn’t feel that I needed it. However, my rash definitely got worse before it got better. It spread all over, and even the dermatologist said that mine moved a bit more distally than she normally sees. The first spots to disappear were on my chest and trunk. Now, 7 weeks later, most of the rash is gone, but I have some residual scarring that will take some time to go away.

Take-home message: Never discount the things that I learn in medical school, because you really might see it (maybe even on yourself) someday!

One of the unfortunate things about medicine is that you eventually get jaded. It happens to almost everyone. The system is corrupt in so many ways. I’m just going to list a few of my complaints:

1. There is an utter lack of communication between fields. All the specialties do their own evaluation and ultimately the coordination of care is supposed to fall on the internist, who sometimes don’t do such a stellar job of it because they’re overwhelmed with too many patients.

2. I have a friend whose boyfriend is currently an intern at UT-Houston, and he was required to do a four night “float” at MD Anderson, the world renowned cancer hospital. The UT-Houston interns take care of the so-called “solid tumors”-which is basically everything except leukemia and lymphoma. So basically they take a person who is only a few months fresh from med school graduation, and throw them into this crazy world of patients dying from bizarre cancers, with half of their medications being tested in experimental trials, with names like #9F08S79F6SDX. The guy was like a deer caught in headlights-nurses were paging him non-stop about patients whom he didn’t know anything about, and he had to pronounce 2 patients as deceased on his first night there. And while there is an oncology fellow on call for the “liquid tumors” they really don’t like to be bothered. So basically the well-being of 20 towers worth of extremely sick patients rests on the shoulders of a first-year intern. Apparently MD Anderson did this to cut costs. It amazes me so much that such a renowned hospital like this would rely on interns to take care of their patients! And the public probably has no clue that the young doctor taking care of their loved ones at night is scared crapless because he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

3. I really wish that each medical school would have a class on how to decipher handwriting…or at least calligraphy because half my time is spent trying to figure out what the other doctors have written!

4. It’s kinda unnerving to spend time with the really old-school doctors because they either tend to exhibit some unprofessional behavior, do a half-hearted exam, or violate HIPPA. I sorta cringe every time I see this happen…which unfortunately is too often.

5. Some people can really work the system. Some people can go their whole lives without working a day and yet somehow they are still able to receive healthcare. It’s disgusting to see people who claim that they don’t have money to buy medications yet they still have nails that look better than mine and a $500 purse sitting on their lap. People need to get their priorities straight.

6. I think the U.S. places way too much emphasis on saving a person’s life vs. preserving quality of life. I recently discovered that in Spain, doctors don’t admit patients over the age of 65 to the ICU. While I think that’s extreme, I do see the logic behind that. Just today I saw a 77 year old patient who had a really complicated medical history (Seizure disorder, renal transplant, dementia, etc..) who was intubated in the ICU. And he’s still code II, which means that while there wouldn’t be anything invasive done to resuscitate him, we would still take measures to save him if he was to go into cardiopulmonary arrest. Of course, people have differing views on this, but to me it feels wrong to keep a shell of a person alive. I think it has a lot to do with American mentality toward medicine-that the more procedures they have done, the healthier they will be, which generally is not the case.

7. Bottom line is: medicine is a lot more frustrating that I ever thought it would be. But still strangely rewarding.

So what have I been up to besides devoting my life to medicine? Here’s a little update..

My b-day was on Oct. 21st. I kept it pretty low-key: 23 is not really an exciting age, haha.

Then in November we had a CSA Officer Alumni weekend, where we got to meet the AMAZING Wong Fu again! If you haven’t heard of them, these guys are doing big things for the Asian-American community. They’ve been taking their creative minds from college assignments to the big screen, and have recently been featured on CNN. Check out their website!

Then for Thanksgiving my mom and I went to visit my Dad in California and took a road trip to San Francisco:

I have some plans that I still have yet to make public yet, and I don’t quite know why I’m keeping it secret. It could definitely boost my med school resume, but at the same time if they don’t go through it won’t hurt me too much, and I just don’t want to announce it and then go through the embarrassment of not having it work out. But as soon as things become definite I will make it known.

Happy holidays everyone!

親愛的朋友们， 中秋又到， 祝大家身体健康，腰包鼓鼓的。 借国内朋友送来的动片， 向大家问好。 ：
佳節將至為送上我的餅 CC
第餅：圓月餅，代表一顆圓圓的，寄託了一份圓圓的，希望能圓一個圓圓的。
第餅：千層餅，第一層第二層第三層中間夾層甜蜜！你喜歡！
第餅：工餅，用浪漫皮；溫馨餡；幸福蛋黃；懂得味的人不需要多
第餅：法餅，成份：真心快樂；保質期：一生；營養：溫馨幸福真情；製造：想念你的人。
第餅：團圓餅，平安的餡，的皮，的盒子，的繩。

~~明月，一閃一閃，掛天邊；
~~~思念，一絲一絲，連成線；
~~回憶，一幕一幕，在眼前；
~~~但願，一年一，人圓全。
啊~~ ，WHO 偷吃了的餅？
好了，圓了，家圓了，肚子圓了最好錢包也圓了^^”
佳節快樂闔家團圓美滿！！！
最後

I’m too lazy to translate it…but even if you can’t read it, you can still appreciate the cute cartoons right? I’m upset that I didn’t actually get to see the moon tonight though…it is way too cloudy in Houston to see anything!

I went to the Korean American Chuseok Festival in Houston today. It had free food, free prizes, and performances. We got there late, and so we missed the traditional fan dances and gayaneum (traditional Korean zither) performances but we caught the b-boying and K-pop acts, which were my personal favorite. I recorded the K-pop dance act’s performance:

Afterwards I went to the new Amore Pacific store that just opened up across the street from H-mart. A mother-daughter team owns the shop, and they were very helpful. They had a skin analysis software that told you how well your skin was doing in terms of moisture, sebum production, and elasticity. It also magnifies your skin by like 30x. Um, yeah, it wasn’t very pretty lol. I knew my skin was oily and porous, but I was surprised to find out that it also had poor elasticity. I thought that having oily skin would help you with that, ha. The computer said something about externally it may look fine but it was internally weak. I’m not quite sure what that means? Anyway, I decided to buy a couple of things there (I always feel that Asian skin care products are better for Asian skin and use more natural ingredients than their American counterparts) and the ladies were nice enough to throw in a ton of free samples, so I was super happy. They also packed it all into a really cute pink AmorePacific tote, that’ll definitely come in handy for books or groceries.

What started out as a mere complaint on Myspace to a close friend has turned into something much larger than any of us could have imagined. Park Jaebeom, the 23-year old leader of my favorite Korean group 2PM, resigned on Sept. 8th over comments that he made to his friends about Korea:

Many Koreans were immediately enraged at his comments…saying things like, “How can he say that about his homeland”, etc. I understand their anger, because if a celebrity that I liked said that about China, I’d be pretty upset also. However, these comments are from 4 years ago..and so much has changed since then. Jay was just starting out as a trainee in Korea-he couldn’t speak the language, couldn’t adapt to the culture, and didn’t have any friends. He was just practicing 24/7 and even underwent rigorous military-style training. All of that can be pretty overwhelming when you’re just 18 years old. It’s understandable that he’s complain to his friends about his situation. What many people did not realize until it was too late is that Jay made a 180 degree turn and grew to embrace Korea. His more recent comments include things like, “I feel more and more Korean everyday”. You could tell how happy he was just by watching him on interviews and variety shows-he loved what he was doing.

Jaebum issued an apology expressing the shame and regret that he felt at his words. However, many Koreans still found his actions unacceptable; there was even a suicide petition going around that demanded he kill himself…and there were over 5,000 signatures on it. On the 8th, Jay left a message in his fancafe that said:

Hello, I’m 2PM’s JaeBum.

I’m sorry for giving you my last greeting through this letter.
I think it will be hard for me to see you all on stage because of my sorry heart.

I’m really sorry to everyone, and I’m even more sorry to the fans who have shown me love.
From today, I will leave 2PM.

2PM boys, I’m really sorry to the boys and I’m sorry I couldn’t be strong as a leader and a hyung and have to leave like this.
However, I hope you will be more cool and charming.

Again, I’m sorry.

JaeBum

credit: HOTTEST fancafe

He then returned to Seattle to be with his family. Numerous supporters showed up at the airport to try to prevent him from leaving, but it was to no avail. He quietly slipped through a gate different than the one listed on his ticket. His final bow…

There are many rumors flying around, and none of us fans know what to believe. This is one account that was posted online:

Credit: Kor-Eng by Kirstyn@2pm-online.com

“I heard this from one of JYPE staff and this is not a rumor. If you misunderstand me, there’s nothing I can really do about it. But, please trust my words. I’ve got nothing to earn for spreading rumor. I’m active member in Hottest official cafe, onedayroom, and etc; and many people know me as well. I’m over 28 years old, I really have no intention or even time to create a rumor, if I do, and it’ll be too embarrassing.

To tell you the conclusion first, Jay’s leaving was already decided by JYPE before he said it. It is true that Jay himself brought up the word of “leaving” However, JYPE made such situation, and cornered him to say it. They had one-by-one talk with each members of 2PM, and asked Jay what should we do, shouldn’t you be responsible for this; and they pushed him till he says “ok, I’ll leave”

The moment he said “I’ll leave”, none of JYPE staffs blocked him from that. Jay’s leaving won’t give much problem to JYPE Company, because they can simply just choose the other one from tones of their trainees.

But, what about Jay who has worked so hard for such long time. He had already done the recording for the next album which was to be released in October. It was JYPE who kicked Jay out of 2PM. It was not Jay’s decision at all although that’s how it was known through the press in Korea. In Korean Management Company, it is almost impossible for Jay to quit by himself. It has only been a year that he debuted as a singer; he has no power to do such thing. I do not understand why people give such big trust in JYPE.

JYPE is just another typical company where its first concern is business, and making a profit.
There are three solutions currently discussed at JYPE.
1. 2PM with 6 members
2. Bringing in new member
3. Combining one day (2AM+2PM)

In my opinion, 2PM will not be 2PM without Jay. Even though he is not my favorite member, he is undoubtedly the glue that holds everyone together. He’s the most well rounded performer and is one of the most popular members. His spontaneity, passion, and charisma make him a joy to watch on stage and in variety shows.With Jay’s sudden departure, the future of 2PM remains uncertain. Many appearances have been canceled, and many stations have even decided to stop broadcasting pre-recorded shows that Jay makes an appearance in. (I’m going to miss Wild Bunny…T_T)

The amount of support that he has gotten from the fan community and other artists and now even politicians has been amazing. The Hottests (2PM’s fan club) have gone into a frenzy protesting his absence. They’ve stuck tons of  post-its with encouraging messages on the JYP building in both Seoul and NYC:

Fans in NYC are organizing a peaceful protest that will begin tomorrow outside of the Manhattan JYP center starting at (when else?) 2 pm. There have been numerous petitions going around, the latest of which is boycotting all JYP ent activities; they are refusing to buy any music or tickets that feature JYP artists. As extreme as this may sound, it might just be the solution. One of Jay’s closest friends wrote:

“Like i said on the other videos everything my homie Jay said was 5 years ago. when he moved out there it was a different experience and he was just homesick. it was purely being an ignorant 18 year old in which he has already apologized. of course he loves korea, he loves his fans country and gained a whole new appreciation for the culture. Jay was telling me yesterday that the only thing saving his career right now are his fans. show some support and cut the dude a break hes only human.

thank the world for people like you. to be honest im not a kpop fan at all. im just really good friends with jay hes like a brother and to see something like this happen to him just really hurts to see. people need to understand he was young, naive and out of his element. he knew very little about the culture and environment.

hes out here seattle w/friends and fam and hes thankful for all his fans doing this for him. he said himself the people who will save his career are his fans.

- Chico”

Of course I don’t want to force Jay into coming back, nor do I want to cause him any extra pain by having him watch the other 6 members suffer. If he really wants out, then I support that decision. However, I just can’t shake off this nagging feeling that his decision was not his own and instead heavily influenced by his management. If we show him enough support, he will be able to come back. He has 7 more years left in his contract, and as a Korean pop idol (notorious for basically being the toys of their companies), he doesn’t have any sort of legal power to stand up to JYP.  There has been a ton of press coverage, and he has almost become a martyr of sorts, showcasing the effects that Korean Netizens can have on an artist. In fact, many have criticized Netizens before for their harsh words, which has played a heavy part in the suicides of many celebrities over the years-U;nee and Choi Jin Shil are 2 that come to my mind. This just has to stop. While the girls that exposed Jay have apologized, it’s too late now. The repercussions have already happened.

4 years of hard work and ambitious dreams…shattered by just 4 days.

Hottest love you, Jay. Please come back if you can…we miss our pink grandpa leadja. =(

Fan dedication videos:

2PM: 7-1 = 0

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Adapted from Jacques Torres

Time: 45 minutes (for 1 6-cookie batch), plus at least 24 hours’ chilling

1. Sift flours, baking soda, baking powder and salt into a bowl. Set aside.

2. Using a mixer fitted with paddle attachment, cream butter and sugars together until very light, about 5 minutes. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Stir in the vanilla. Reduce speed to low, add dry ingredients and mix until just combined, 5 to 10 seconds. Drop chocolate pieces in and incorporate them without breaking them. Press plastic wrap against dough and refrigerate for 24 to 36 hours. Dough may be used in batches, and can be refrigerated for up to 72 hours.

3. When ready to bake, preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a nonstick baking mat. Set aside.

4. Scoop 6 3 1/2-ounce mounds of dough (the size of generous golf balls) onto baking sheet, making sure to turn horizontally any chocolate pieces that are poking up; it will make for a more attractive cookie. Sprinkle lightly with sea salt and bake until golden brown but still soft, 18 to 20 minutes. Transfer sheet to a wire rack for 10 minutes, then slip cookies onto another rack to cool a bit more. Repeat with remaining dough, or reserve dough, refrigerated, for baking remaining batches the next day. Eat warm, with a big napkin.

Yield: 1 1/2 dozen 5-inch cookies.

Note: Disks are sold at Jacques Torres Chocolate; Valrhona fèves, oval-shaped chocolate pieces, are at Whole Foods.

The product:

The verdict? OHMAGAWD SO FREAKING GOOD!! Yes, they are humongous…and yes, I ate 2 in one sitting. It was too good!! The edges were crisp but the middle was soft and gooey, and the chocolate was divine (I used the Valrhona chocolate disks). This first batch had been refrigerated for 48 hours; I actually forgot to sprinkle salt on the cookies before I baked them, so I will have to do that when I bake the next batch tomorrow. But this is definitely a chocolate chip recipe that you need to try!!

So far, I’ve done OB/GYN and am currently on Psych. OB/GYN was pretty terrible. I came into med school knowing that it was crossed off my list (hours are too long, and I’m not comfortable manipulating people’s genitals all day long) and this rotation did nothing to change my mind.  The first 3 weeks I was on L&D (labor and delivery) and antepartum care; the latter part of my 3 weeks was spent in clinic. In my 2 weeks on L&D, I only got to deliver one baby. I kid you not. I almost wanted to be in Austin where they have babies falling out everywhere. I guess it was bad luck on my part, because all of the OB/GYN interns just got there, and they need to perform a certain number of deliveries, so they obviously had priority over us. The residents were so busy that they never had time to just sit down and teach us, so we were just kinda left hanging. Gynecology clinic was even worse. It was not a strictly GYN clinic, and so half the time I was still measuring fundal heights and trying to listen to fetal heart tones. The rest of the time, I was just shadowing…so I think I got to overall do 2-3 pap smears in 3 weeks. I was bored out of my mind. I even got kicked out of the room on several occasions, and I guess I understand because I wouldn’t want any more people than necessary to stare at my privates, but that didn’t make me any less irritated. I did not get to see any gyn surgery or uro-gyn, but I did get to see some REI (reproduction, endocrinology, and infertility). All in all, it really was a waste of my 6 weeks, and I didn’t feel very prepared for my shelf exam at the end. Truthfully, it probably won’t matter in the future that my OB/GYN experienced sucked, because I’m considering neurology, but at the same time, I want to enjoy my clerkships and learn something useful from the experience.

Psychiatry on the other hand is really interesting, and I’m enjoying it so far. I think the reason why I like it so much more is because it correlates well with Neuro-in fact, they take the same test for board certification. The psychiatrist that I work with specializes in organ transplant patients (especially liver transplants) and pain management, so a lot of them patients that I see are really really sick. It’s been so different from OB/GYN, where for the most part you saw young, healthy women who didn’t have a lot of chronic diseases. It’s been really hard for me emotionally to handle some of the patients. I love talking to them and trying to get them better, but some of their stories are really heart-breaking, and everyone is just so depressed. We’ve also been seeing a lot of geriatric patients, and then I start thinking to myself, “Oh God, how am I going to handle my parents going through this?” So many of our patients tell me the same thing, “I don’t want to try to kill myself, but I’m just tired of it all. Sometimes I just wish that I could just go in my sleep. This, with all the tubes and whatnot, this isn’t life.” Almost half of my patients start crying as I start talking to them, and I’ll start to get really emotional and want to start crying too. I stop myself because I know that I have to be professional and crying doesn’t accomplish anything for the patient, but I guess it’ll just take awhile for me to get used to it all. One of the patients that I saw today has full-blown AIDS, and her CD4 count was 0. Which means that none of her helper T cells (which are part of her immune system to fight off infection) are working. I sat there and I realized…this woman only has a few weeks. As I was talking to her, I discovered that she was in denial of how sick she was. Whenever I asked her anything about end of life care, or code status, she would just zone out and refuse to answer me. When my attending came in and talker to her, I was just amazed at how skillfully she drew out answers from her, and that’s definitely something that I’ll need to learn for the future.

On a lighter note, I saw a robot doctor for the first time yesterday. If you’ve never head of it, take a look at this article that MSNBC wrote on it. I was in the ICU with my attending, and she stepped into the room first to interview the patient. As I started to make my way into the room, I noticed some sort of machine with a monitor rolling its way down the hall toward me. I stopped and stared at it, and thought, “Uhhh….ooo..kk..?” but just went ahead into the room. Next thing I know, the robot zooms into our room and interrupts my attending while she’s doing her interview. The man in the screen goes, “Hi, I’m Dr. so-and-so with the ICU team, how are you doing? Etc, etc.” My attending and I just kinda stared at the robot in shock. After it was done, the monitor swiveled around and then wheeled itself outside to park across the hall. Afterward, the message on the screen read, “The ICU Urgent Care team is currently in conference. For emergencies, please contact XXX-XXXX.” I was like, those lazy butts need to walk over here and talk to the patient in person! They’re in scrubs and sneakers; my attending and I are all dressed up and in heels, if we can walk all over the hospital, they can do it too! And how exactly are they supposed to examine the patient? Geez, I really hope that this isn’t the direction that medicine is taking, it’s already so de-personalized.

“The science of Psychiatry is now where the science of Medicine was before germs were discovered”

Malcolm Rogers